Thursday, December 22, 2005

Amis. A found poem.

It's actually been a good month for poetry. I found this one night lying in a Jack in the Box parking lot. It was scrawled across four unlined pages, front and back, and all in the same hand writing. The lines and spaces are the writer's own. I don't think her partner ever wrote back, so this is all one person's voice.

And that is all you need to know for now ...

Are you ready to stop - to detox?

Take blood
Find vein
She's filling all those up so you only
get stuck once


Electrolytes / vitamins
The shot you got into your iv was
the Ativan. When Dr. comes, I'm going
to ask for more.


They haven't admitted you yet because
they need doctor consent and I the jerk
at the Waikiki Health Center didn't give it.
So I think they're going to change your provider
to someone who will consent.

She's most recent winner of American Idol

How old were you when you started

[new page]

BA low below .10 but she says
that's why DT's so bad. And usually
they're worse after 72 hours, so that's the concern.

She's admitting you and getting you
more Ativan. Whether I can stay is up
to the nurse and floor where you go to stay.

They're going to send you for a brain scan
and send you to a room.

She also said they will give you little
pushes of Ativan if you feel you need it.
It sounds like is no limit as long as you
have evidence of symptoms.

She's also going to have someone meet w/ you
to give you info. On long-term detoxing

If they think you don't want to stop
drinking they're sending you home today with

NOTHING - they'll send you home so you
can drink. They will only help if they think
you want to stop drinking-so say you do!

[new page]

you will get dinner.

I'm starving, can I use your card to get
something cheap?

[new page]

- 2 or more days

- I'm going to tell them you're insistent
that I stay with you and that you may
refuse to be here if I can't.

- Ativan by IV. An hour after you get
it, you need to complain that it's not
helping much and can they give you more.

IV much stronger and faster

Dr. just checked on you. Next
time he comes in, I'm going to say
the Ativan didn't work.

[new page]

I realise you must be very frustrated right
now and the nurse care really sucks! But I'm
doing my best and would appreciate if you'd stop
being mean to me.

I'm so pissed off at the nurses. I'm doing
their jobs. They're lousy. What's going to happen
when I have to go to my Dr. tomorrow?

She asked if you have problems seeing

If anyone from social services or your Dr. comes
while I'm gone, ask them if they can come back
after 1:00 so I can be here to help communicate

I have my dr. appt. at 10:00

Do I have to do the CC again?


Potassium - you have to eat bananas

They're taking it out soon anyway.

You don't pay attention to ANY form of
communication anymore. It's not your hearing
you just act like you don't care what I have to
say. Just read these pages and see how many times
I've had to write the same thing to you.
Now - what I said was what about the tent you

I'm sorry if I'm irritable but you have been a handful
(and not because you needed care) and I have hardly eaten
in 2 days and I haven't had any meds of my own or to
counter the fact that I'm not drinking. I'm tired & hungry.

[new page]

My Dr. took emergency leave and
won't be back until Monday. They won't
be able to see me until Monday.

For you but I'm out. We'll need to get me a
few pills from your mom's $ ok?

Secret word Amis (What's the Dog's name?)

Since I already told everyone I'm leaving
now, I should go and will be back ASAP.
Now's a good time, right?

We'll go. I want you here until afternoon,
at least. That way you can shower and rest-up.
I think it may be better today to avoid the
social svcs. people. But I want you here
for your health until tomorrow.

Matt does need the $10.00 for the dime-bag
you promised you would pay for. Otherwise, you'll get
at all. Don't you trust me?

I'm going to sell pills. We'll be ok. Besides,
if we stop drinking alcohol, we'll save about $400.00
per month or more - But you

Are you going to run out and buy a bottle? Be
honest. Then go ahead and check-out today but
later. Rest as much as you can or will you feel
immediately better?

Not until I talk to them. It will take hours
for you to get out of here. We should tell them
now so they can get started.

Like 3-5 hours.

[new page]


I told your nurse that I need a time frame as to
when you can be discharged because you're ready
to leave and I'm hoping to get a prescription and
referral first. He's calling the Dr.

I told him you want to go now and asked him to
call the dr. to get discharge instructions so we
could get you taken care of before you leave.

There going to discharge you with no
meds. Since you won't wait for Dr.

This woman is going to yell at us. If we don't
need to stay near Matt I'd tell both of them to

I told him he acted like the $10.00 was more
important than your life.

I CAN'T go to jail NOW. My daughter's
birthday is tomorrow AND I need to get pills.
I don't want to take the risk. If you want to,
I'll help, but I don't want to go down with
you tonight. I CAN'T. Either we stay in
Waikiki a few more nights or the burden is on you. You choose
Simone's B-Day / 1 year ago!

[new page]

I am sorry about giving Tom some what of an
attitude. and the money isn't most important, but
you must understand also where I was coming
from. I told the guy I would pay him Tuesday
and it wasn't able to happen and I didn't
want the guy thinking my word is "crap."
I could care less about the stupid money
I was just wanting to pay off the money
I owe. o.k.

It's 6:00
Let's check the tent first!

the one you
wanted to look
at on the way
to Times -
before the
bus to Times

Sport Goods

Not far
enough away.
We need to meet
at Ala Moana
If you want me
to do it.

Wait for them to
leave, then grab
the beer. Also
put everything in
your pocket and
hide your



I grab
cart &
we go
to bus

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