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We have a view. Yippee. At least some of the jungle remains.
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The gang midway through the Nu`uanu Traverse.
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And the beginnings of my new tiki bar.
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Random stuff on surfing, paddling, food, war, travel, queer politics, and saving the world.
I was trying to stay positive. Or at least trying to not be too much of a bitch. I really did put in a good faith effort. But it was no use. My first night of Kaimukī Adult Ed Spanish was far, far worse than I ever imagined it could be.
It didn’t look so bad at first. I was happy to see that the campus was full of adults, and not the 22-year old thugs who had spent high school in lock-up that I had fantasized about feared. And our class didn’t look bad at all. There were a few women in their fifties, a twink in slacks and an aloha shirt buttoned up to the neck, a woman with a blond mustache, a muscled & tanned hottie in tight jeans, a shy Japanese girl, an older Japanese man, and a southern girl in peach corduroys. It was all straight out of central casting.
Next time I’ll maintain my cynicism a bit longer, because things went downhill rapidly after that. And they stayed down. First our teacher gives her qualifications. She has a minor in Spanish from the University of Houston, and she studied abroad twice. Which: WTF??? They couldn’t find any Mexicans in this town? Then she tells us we’ll learn the alphabet. And colors. And days of the week. And our numbers. And how to ask for directions. And we’ll also learn pronouns, and adjectives, and the present tense. Don’t worry if we start off slow, she tells us. Be patient. It’ll get more involved as we go along.
I’ll be patient. Seré patiente. So: on with the show. ¡Hola! Let’s introduce ourselves! Ok. Let’s! Let’s meet the women. They’ve all taken this class before, but forgot everything after ¡Hola! They want to learn Spanish because it’s such a beautiful language. Let’s meet the Japanese girl. Or not … she speaks so softly we can’t hear a word. On to the twink. Only he’s not a twink, he’s from a small town in Russia & the tightly buttoned shirt is a cultural trait and not a signifier of sexual repression. At least he’s brave enough to say me llamo Boris. Because certainly we all know that already, don’t we? Or maybe not. The woman with the mustache has trouble understanding what we’re doing, and why Boris didn’t answer in English. She sets the bar low, and yet will still fail to clear it anytime in the next two hours.
On to the cutie. Se llama Sean. ¡Hola Sean! Estás muy caliente, Sean. I like the way you fill them jeans. And I’m trying to figure out how to get Sean in my study group, and I almost miss hearing him say that he needs Spanish for his mission. His last mission he visited an orphanage in Enseneda and the little orphan kids were so cute and he just wishes he could talk to them.
And the teacher tells us that kids are just the best to talk to because they use simple words and talk slow, and they’re so much easier to understand than the adults.
Mr. Matsumoto wants to be able to understand Spanish love songs. After this he wants to take salsa lessons. I really like Mr. Matsumoto. I'm withholding judgement on Sean.
My turn. I’m so tempted to say that I want to learn Spanish so that I can get laid in Guadalajara. I don’t, but I decide to show off a bit. Just a bit. So: Me llamo Michael. Me voy a México en Novembre y quiero hablar bien. Basic, I know, but I still get dirty looks from half the class. I’m so getting beat up on the playground.
And then it was on to the evening’s lesson: the alphabet. And we will spend the next two hours learning the alphabet, mostly by playing bingo. The woman with the mustache gets confused, but most of the class figures out the concept. And here is where I really start to suffer, because I think I have a better accent than the teacher. I mean, her shit was bad. We learned ‘che’ as in Chee, the ‘guy who went to Cuba’. We learn ‘ese’ as in seeñor and seeñorita. When I suggest Tijuana for ‘te’ she mis-corrects me and calls it Tia-juana. We skip ‘erre’ because – and this is verbatim – I’m a white girl and it’s hard for me to roll my r’s.
But it’s when she tells us she’ll bring in Spanish movies, and I suggest Almodóvar, and she tells me that she’s never heard of him, that I just give up. I drifted off, and started deconstructing the classroom. Bad idea, because if what I saw on the walls was any indication of how the rest of our schools are run then the Department of Education is being criminally negligent.
Most of the walls were covered in inspirational posters from Nike. There were some hand-printed signs with quotes from A Fifth Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul. It’s cheesy, but not criminal. The sign under the clock read Everyone needs a Savior! That was a bit sketchy. But the rest of the signs and posters were in pidgin. The worst: Rulz for all who read dis. Rule No. 2: Put all food in outside trash cans so trash cans no stay pilau and we no die from odorous fumes.
I’m a fan of creoles and pidgins. I admire their beauty and rhythms. But creoles are the language of the streets, and public schools need to be teaching literacy. When the alien overlords appoint me overseer of these islands [since I doubt I’d ever get elected, and coups are difficult these days, aliens are my last hope] one of my first acts will be to put Superintendent Patricia Hamamoto on notice: clear the schools of pidgin in five days or face jail time.
Back to Spanish pre-101. I’m not so worried now that I’ll miss half the classes. I’ll probably see it through, though. I’ll treat this as a study group, but continue to teach myself. It should at least keep me on track.
I'll post a pretty picture tomorrow.
The MC-1
2 parts rye
1 part orgeat
1/2 part falernum
- Pour over a chilled glass filled with ice. Strain, and serve.
MEN BONDING.............MANOH'S INTIMATE EVENING IN AUGUSTWAS A WILDLY SUCCESSFUL EVENT.POTENTIAL AND CURRENT MEMBERS ENJOYEDGETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER UP CLOSE,AND SPENT THREE HOURS OFQUALITY MALE-BONDING.IN THE FUTURE, OUR CLUB WILL AGAINHOLD SMALLER, MORE INTIMATE, PARTIES,IN AN ATMOSPHERE OF CAMARADERIEAND MALE-BONDING.
3. MEN EXPLORING..........MANOH MEN WILL EXPLORETHE REALM OF B,D,S&M.....AT A PARTY IN OCTOBER
7. MEN CELEBRATING......ALSO IN DECEMBER, WE WILL CELEBRATETHE CHRISTMAS SEASON AT OUR TRADITIONAL"NUDE 'NOG" HOLIDAY RECEPTION
Praise God! We are chosen to be in these times and also watch and spread the word. Something inside me is exploding to get out, and I don't know what it is. Its kind of like I want to do cartwheels around the neighborhood.
A question just popped in my head. Do you think children of around say 7 or 8 (but before the age of accountability) that have been indoctrinated up until that time by their parents religious beliefs will be raptured? . . . For example, would a 7 year old muslim be raptured? I know G-d will do right but I was just wondering everyone's thoughts. I hate to think of kids being left here.
Got that dancing feeling on the inside of me.
This is the busiest I've ever seen this website in a few years! I have been having rapture dreams and I can't believe that this is really it! We are on the edge of eternity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whoa! I can sure feel the glory bumps after reading this thread!
I too am soooo excited!! I get goose bumps, literally, when I watch what's going on in the M.E.!! And Watcherboy, you were so right when saying it was quite a day yesterday, in the world news, and I add in local news here in the Boston area!! Tunnel ceiling collapsed on a car and killed a woman of faith, and we had the most terrifying storms I have ever seen here!! But, yes, oh happy day, like in your screen name , it is most indeed a time to be happy and excited, right there with ya!!
BRANDIED CHERRIES
This one is easy - mix together black cherries, a pint of cheap brandy, and a lot of sugar. Boil, then let cool. It makes a much better condiment than the rubber-injected maraschino cherries.
GRENADINE
Another easy one. Option 1: Mix equal parts pomegranite juice and sugar. Shake until sugar is dissolved. Add vodka as preservative. Option 2: Boil juice, reduce by half, add sugar, cook until dissolved. Add vodka as preservative. Version 1 is supposed to be more 'sparkly,' while Version 2 [which I did] gives a nice thick rich syrup.
ORGEAT
This one looks more involved.
- 500 grams blanched almonds
- 800 ml water
- 700 grams table sugar
- 100 ml Vodka or Brandy
- 2 Tbls Orange or Rose Flower Water
Soak almonds in cold water for 30". Discard water.
Grind or crush almonds. Mix with water, and let stand for 1-2 hours
Strain mixture, squeezing all the water out of the almonds. Put almonds back in almond water.
Repeat one or two more times
Toss almond pulp. Put liquid in a pan, add sugar, and cook over low heat until sugar is dissolved.
When cool add brandy and orange or flower water.
FALERNUM
I had never even heard of falernum, a spiced almond, ginger, and lime mix from Barbados, until last week. Now, of course, I must have it.
Combine these ingredients in a jar and let soak for 24 hours.
Strain through moistened cheesecloth, squeezing the solids to extract the liquid.
Add:
I think I'll make the first part, and only add lime juice when I serve it.
GOMME SYRUP
Just how far down the rabbit-hole do I want to go? This is sugar syrup with gum arabic, and hasn't been seen in these parts since Somerset Maugham trailed a Miss Sadie Thompson to Pago Pago. Is it worth it? The Cocktail Chronicler's verdict: Good God. OK, granted, a trained ape could make an incredible Sazerac just by introducing the Van Winkle rye into the mix, but the gomme lent it just the right texture, so it slipped down my throat as easy as you please.
Ohter reviewers say it smooths out the classic whiskey drinks, and adds a silkiness you won't find from a simple syrup. And so down the rabbit hole I go.
Let the gluey mess rest for a day
Boil a 2:1 syrup [8 oz water and 4 oz sugar]. Add dissolved gum powder.
Remove from heat. Skim off the scum. Cool, strain and bottle.
JAMAICAN PIMENTO DRAM
This is the last one. For now. I'll be reducing this recipe quite a bit.
Crush the allspice berries in a mortar and place in a 1-liter jar with a rubber seal. Cover with the rum and allow to steep for at least 10 days, agitating the maceration daily.
Pour through a fine strainer, pressing on the solids to extract as much liquor as you can, then pour the strained liquor through another strainer lined with a coffee filter.
Make a simple syrup with the water and sugar. When cool, combine with the rum maceration and allow to age for at least one month. Decant and enjoy.
Thanks Michael,
I am in physiological hell here... Also please add this link to your website, if
you dont mind:
Cease Fire Campaign
Thanks
Abbas
I have known him since he was 20-something. At that time, I was a member of the Knesset, and Olmert was the book-carrier (literally) of another member. Since then I have followed his career. He has never been anything but a party functionary, a small-time politician specializing in manipulations, a run-of-the-mill demagogue. On the way changed parties several times and served as a mayor with a grade of D minus, until he climbed on the bandwagon of Ariel Sharon. More or less by accident he was given the empty title of "Deputy Prime Minister", and when Sharon suffered his stroke, something happened that took Olmert too by surprise: he became Prime Minister.
Throughout his career he has remained a complete cynic, basically a right-winger but willing to pretend to be a liberal when faced with leftists.
So, I told myself, this is just another cynical speech. But suddenly a ghastly thought struck me: No, the man believes what he is saying!
Hard as it is to imagine, it seems that Olmert really believes that this is a successful war. That he is winning. That he has radically changed Israel's situation. That he is building a New Middle East. That he is a historic leader, far superior to Ariel Sharon (who, after all, was beaten in Lebanon and who allowed Hizbullah to build up its arsenal of rockets). That the longer he is allowed to go on with the war, the more his stature in history will grow.
Ehud Olmert has obviously cut himself off from reality. He lives in a bubble all by himself. His speeches show that he has a very real problem.
Of all the dangers facing Israel now, this is the most severe. Because this man is deciding, quite simply, the fate of millions: who will die, who will become a refugee, whose world will be shattered.
BUT OLMERT'S problem with megalomania is nothing compared to what has happened to Amir Peretz.
Exactly nine months ago, after his election as Labor Party chairman, Peretz made a speech in Tel-Aviv's Rabin Square in which he revealed his dream: that in the no-man's land between Israel and the Gaza Strip a football field will be built, and a match between the Israeli children of Sderot and the Palestinian children of nearby Bet-Hanoun will take place. An Israeli Martin Luther King.
Nine month's later, a monster has been born to us.
In the Knesset election campaign, Peretz appeared as a social revolutionary. He announced that he would change the face of Israeli society, set new national priorities, cut billions from the military budget and transfer them to education, welfare and measure to reduce the glaring gap between rich and poor. As a veteran peace-lover, he would, of course, achieve peace with the Palestinians and the entire Arab world.
This won him the votes of many citizens, including many who would normally never consider voting for the Labor Party.
What followed is history. He seduced himself, when Olmert offered him the Ministry of Defense. That was still Olmert the cynic. He knew, as we all did, that Peretz was walking into a trap, that as a rank civilian without serious military experience he would be easy prey for the generals. But Peretz did not shrink back. The supreme aim of his life is to become Prime Minister, and in order to become a credible candidate he believed that he must present himself as a security expert.
Since then, Peretz has become a rabid warmonger. Not only does he endorse all the demands of the generals, not only does he act as their spokesman - he has also helped to push Israel into war, and since then he has been demanding that it should continue, enlarge, widen, kill more, destroy more, occupy more. He himself declared, "Nasrallah will never forget the name Amir Peretz!" - like a spoilt child inscribing his name on a tourist attraction.
At the moment, he is trying to be more extreme even than Olmert. While the Prime Minister is afraid of continuing to advance, fearing that too many casualties from the rockets and the battle on the ground might cloud the brilliance of his victory, Peretz wants to reach the Litani River, whatever the cost. There's no other way - if one wants to become Prime Minister, one has to walk over dead bodies.
Thus a monster has been born to us. Rosemary's Baby.
TODAY, THE 25th day of the war, we can draw up an interim balance. What were the aims? What are the results?
"To destroy Hizbullah".
Who would have believed it, but on the 25th day Hizbullah is still standing and fighting. A few thousand fighters against the fifth strongest army in the world. Nobody speaks anymore about eliminating it. Not Olmert, not Peretz, not even Dan Halutz - the third corner of this unholy triangle.
"To weaken Hizbullah".
That is a watered down version of the first aim. It is more convenient, because it cannot be measured. After all, in any war both sides are weakened. People are killed and wounded, arms are destroyed, installations demolished. But while the Israeli army can mobilize another division and another one, and the Americans are rushing more bombs to us, can Hizbullah absorb such losses?
Nobody knows how many fighters the organization has lost. The Israeli army distributes estimates, without being able to prove them. The Lebanese speak about far smaller numbers, and do not have any proof either.
But that is not the main thing. An organization like Hizbullah has no problem in raising more and more volunteers for "holy war". Be their losses as they may, after the war the organization will train as many new fighters as necessary. Their arsenals will also be replenished with new weapons arriving from Iran and Syria. The border is long, it is impossible to seal it.
"To push Hizbullah away from the border".**
That is the crumpled aim, after the two preceding ones were shown to be unattainable. It, too, has not been realized yet, and never will be, because it is also unattainable. Most Hizbullah fighters are local boys of the South Lebanese towns and villages. They will continue to be there, overtly or covertly. No international force can prevent that, and certainly not the Lebanese Army.
The rockets can be moved further away. How many kilometers? Ten? Twenty? That will not remove the threat from Nahariya, Haifa and Tel-Aviv - especially since the range of the missiles is bound to grow with time, when technologically more advanced types arrive.
"To kill Hassan Nasrallah".
For the time being, so it seems, the report of his death was an exaggeration, to quote Mark Twain. True, in a kind of parody of the Entebbe exploit, Nasrallah was pulled out of a hospital in Baalbek, but it was another Hassan Nasrallah. Oops.
In the meantime, the original Nasrallah is flourishing. Compared to the kitschy speeches of Olmert, with their endless clichés and the fist thumping on the table, the Hizbullah leader comes over as a sober speaker, measured and mostly quite credible.
"To return to the Israeli army the power of deterrence".
Nobody has any doubt that the Israeli army is a good, professional army, capable of defeating regular armies. But this war proves that it is not capable of achieving a military decision against an able guerilla organization with determined fighters. If Hizbullah is alive and kicking after 25 days, the deterrence power of the Israeli army has been weakened - whatever happens from now on.
From this point of view, the war has harmed the security of Israel. It has proved that the Israeli rear is exposed, that the Hizbullah fighters are not inferior to the Israeli soldiers, that there is no de-luxe war, that the Air Force cannot win without land forces. Not even in ideal circumstances, when the other side has no anti-air defense to speak of.
Some comfort themselves with the thought that "the Arabs have seen that we are crazy". We react to a small local provocation with an orgy of killing and destruction, destroying whole countries, a sort of national amok. But running amok is not a policy. It does not solve any problem. It is an uncontrollable reflex. It does not allow for straight thinking. It even allows the other side to manipulate us with premeditated provocations.
"Deploying an International Force along the border".
That is a kind of emergency exit, after all the other aims have gone up in smoke.
At the beginning of the war, Olmert himself strenuously objected to such a force, because it would restrict the freedom of action of the Israeli army. Clearly, no international force will dare to come, unless there is a cease-fire in place and an agreement with Hizbullah has been reached. Nobody wants to be exposed to cross-fire. Therefore, this force will also have to serve Hisbullah's interests, for fear of a guerilla war starting against it. Have all the sacrifices been made for this?
"We shall create a new situation in the Middle East".
This aim has indeed been achieved - but not the way Olmert told himself (and us).
The long-range results of the war are not immediately obvious. They belong to the category defined by Bismarck as "imponderables" - things that cannot be measured.
Every day on their TV screens tens of millions of Arabs and hundred of millions of Muslims see the atrocious pictures of crushed babies, the sights of the horrible destruction. These are deeply imprinted in the consciousness of the masses and will leave behind them an accumulation of anger and hatred that is far more dangerous than an arsenal of missiles. In these 25 days, thousands of new suicide bombers have been created. And as the stature of Nasrallah as the hero of the Arab world increases, so the respect for the "moderate" Arab regimes hit new lows - the very regimes that the US and Israel rely on for creating the New Middle East.
AFTER THE 25th day, the 26th will arrive, and so on and on. President Bush, who pushed us into this war to start with, is now pushing us to fight on ("Until the last Israeli soldier," as the saying goes.) Like Olmert, he lives in an imaginary world.
Bush, Olmert and their like can incite and draw the masses behind them, until the call of "the Emperor is naked" finds receptive ears.
One of the most sickening sights of the war is the picture of the international diplomats doing everything they can to enable Olmert & Co. to go on with the war. The UN has long since become an agent of the White House. Hypocrisy and sanctimoniousness are having a field day, while lives are being destroyed and the dead buried on both sides of the border.
Olmert wants to "gain" as many days as possible for continued fighting. What sort of gain is this? We are conquering South Lebanon as flies conquer fly-paper. Generals present maps with impressive arrows to show how Hizbullah is being pushed north. That might be convincing - if we were talking about a front-line in a war with a regular army, as taught in Staff College. But this is a different war altogether. In the conquered area, Hizbullah people remain, and our soldiers are exposed to attacks of the kind in which Hizbullah has excelled from its first day.
So we shall get to the Litani River. Beyond it, there is another river, and another one. Lebanon has an abundance of rivers we can get to.
Perhaps it would be worthwhile for these two junkies, Olmert and Peretz, to come down from their "high" and study the map.