Tuesday, February 13, 2007

MC vs. Britney, Rematch

My weekend was lame, but kind of fun. Hers was fabulously douchey [tm Becki Newton]. I stayed home Friday to catch up on sleep [lame]. She hit the newest clubs.

Britney 1, MC -1 (points docked for not even trying).

Saturday I joined Dave C, Dirk, and Jeff at the Pro Bowl. It was fun, and David dressed us up like his favorite players. Dave C was LT, Jeff was Brett Favre, and I was Junior Seau. Dirk was Dirk. In the strange alterna-world of professional sports, that meant that we were instant best friends with any stranger wearing the same jersey - and would be expected to answer the most obscure questions about the player. I think this is how straight men bond. We were lost ... all I know is that Favre is hot, that LT is a gentleman, and that Junior Seau beats up women in bars.

I didn't learn much at the game, either ... I kept getting distracted by a minotaur with a godlike body straight out of antiquity. I'm not sure what team he was a mascot for. All in all, I had a great time hanging with the guys - 1 point.

Britney 1, MC 0 (She didn't make the tabloids, so how interesting a day could she have had?)

Saturday night I went with Robert to the as-ghetto-as-it-gets part of Waipahu to visit sick islanders and ended up missing Doug Simonson's book signing party. Minus one point. Britney hit more clubs. Robert and I headed back to town, vowing that we could rage with out hitting Hulas/Angles/Fusions circuit. We pretended that he had a choice. We didn't. We couldn't find any other party, and ended up on the same circuit as every other boy in town. Lame. Minus one point. But fun [thanks, Johnny Walker!]. Call it even. I even had a chance to score, and he was tight and muscled and hot & pretty much what I like. He heads to Iraq soon, and - in his words - had never been with a white dude before. It could have been fun, but he was too drunk to even walk straight & that cancelled out all the positives.

Britney hits some more clubs. She already scored for this, and has maxed out. Zero points. MC loses points for not supporting our troops and for not doing his part to promote racial harmony.

Britney 1, MC -1

Sunday I nursed a hangover at the beach, and then hit the sunset beer bust at Hula's. It was more crowded than I've seen it in a long time. Britney, meanwhile, projectile vomited all over her new SUV. I think I won ... but by default. It's like winning a game of pool because your opponent scratched on the eight ball - it's only a technical victory.

This weekend is carnival. Saturday is Jake's surf pa`ina at White Plains. Sunday I'll head to Maui, pitch a tent at Makena, and read and surf the rest of the holiday weekend. Try and beat that, Ms. Spears.

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