Friday, October 24, 2008

Flora-Dec Ninja

Every All Souls' Day I feel all inspired, and promise that I am going to come up with one drop dead fucking awesome Halloween costume the next year.

Since the age of consent I have given: two half-assed attempts, one vaguely decent attempt, and borrowed a costume. Twice I ended up naked in public anyway, so those times it really wouldn't have mattered.

It's not a good track record. This year I caved, and bought one pre-made. I wish I had that creative gay gene that the television insists that I have. I don't; and though everyone tells me that a home-made costume has more meaning, no one is willing to make me one (I ask, and all I get in response is a blank stare and a forbidding sense that I better not push it).

I didn't even know what Flora-Dec was until Monday. I pass it all the time, but I just assumed it was something to do with floors, and so ignored it. Or rather: completely deleted it from my mental map of the universe. Turns out it's really a crafts emporium. It's also where straight guys go to by complete costumes, ready made. And here's another fabulous gene I missed: I always buy off the rack.

The boss's new girlfriend is having a party tomorrow, they're decorating some abandonned house in the woods, I can't get a single fucking queer in this town to go with me, and though my body will be there, hell if I'm showing face ...

so I'll be a "Made in Vietnam" Ninja:That's the Flora-Dec Deluxe Ninja. I actually bought the Imperial Ninja, and there's lots of gold sashes and slashes and things to sex it up. XL, mind you, because my legs were too big to fit into the L. I am so losing at least 20 Gay Points for this. This totally wipes out any Fabulousness I won by winning the Gayest Shirt of the Night prize at Johnny's last Saturday (an unbuttoned barong Tagalog from Chinatown; and I didn't win an actual concrete prize, but if there were one I would have).

It's so nice to be going out again. Though we need to start training for Rio - Eli has already done three OC-1 Diamond Head runs since Moloka`i - so these will be my last decadent days for awhile (37 days). And even this weekend, I'll be in lock-down mode except for the one party. I need need need to turn off the phone, unplug the computer, and give this place and my yard a long weekend of hard labor.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

actually i really liked the skin tight tiger outfit and tail that Halloween better