Monday, July 23, 2007

Talk to her already, Les

Someone upstairs is on night two of a very public break-up. It started last night. All I could hear was her, shrieking in some harpies voice, over and over, Talk to me! TALK to me! Why won't you talk to me? ... interspersed with the occasional Don't you DARE turn your back on me!

I never heard the guy's response. It was just her voice, cutting through wood and concrete. It went on and on, and so my night was a strange blend of Italian neo-realism (I was finishing up Visconti's Le Notti Bianche) and Latin drama.

Though, honestly, I always thought U. upstairs was kind of cool, and was surprised how shrieky she could get.

Well, the drama continues tonight (intermingled with Ichikawa's The Burmese Harp).

They've expanded their dialogue a bit, as well as their cast of characters. I've heard at least five voices - apparently this is a very public drama. U. isn't one of them. I don't know who they are, or much about them beyond the fact that I think they are the most god-awful boring drama queens I have ever come across. I have heard the same three conversations, starring the same three shriekers (harpy Jen, froggy-voiced Les, and bitchy friend), half a dozen times each.

There's not even much variation on the themes - they repeat the same shit word for word, pause for a few minutes, and then start over. I have it down by heart now ... if Les needs to take a break I can go in and pinch-hit for him & no one would miss a beat.

Theme 1
Friend: Do you love her Les?
Les: Not that it is any of your business, but (his voice gets extra froggy here) yes, I do.
Friend: So why did you dump her, Les?
Les: You don't know me!
Jen: So Why did you dump me?

Theme 2
Friend: So why won't you talk to her?
Les: Who are you people?
Friend: We're good friends. I'm just asking.
Les: This is OUR problem, Jen.
Jen:So why won't you talk to me? Why won't you talk to me? Why are you doing this to me? Why did you dump me? Why won't you talk to me?
(silence, presumably because Jen has temporarily passed out from lack of oxygen)

Theme 3
Friend: Ask him what I told you to, Jen.
Jen: I already know the answer.
Friend: (gasp) Do you really?

I don't lie - it's been over an hour and there's been no progression. Occasionally someone says something funny that I don't hear, and then I do hear a large group laughing. Beyond that it's the same conversations over and over and over. I'd be throwing tomatoes at the stage already if I were up there.

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