Aftermath

Sunday, July 31: I pack up most of his remaining things. I write a long letter, pouring out my heart, trying to explain how I could love him but not live with him.

I wanted to love the world with you. You could love me, but not the world. The seeds of the tragedy were laid out at the start, but I wanted your love so bad I ignored them. Even though I knew all along that one day this day would come. I just didn't know it would hurt so bad.

Friday, August 12: I get a call from Bob. The new bike I had bought Roy was stolen from work. It hits him hard. I agree to call him Saturday.

And so we talked for the first time. He's not doing well. I want to help him, and I want to make his pain stop. I still want to show him the beauty of the world.

But I know now, more than before, that I cannot be with him as a lover. And for him it's all or nothing. He won't allow for anything else than that I meet all his needs and desires.

And so here we are, the present day. I'm back to the life I lived before: plenty of friends, a life I love, and lonely nights.